Today, 23th September is the Bi visibility Day, a day to celebrate Bisexuality, so I thought in writing an article to debunk the top 10 myths about bisexual people.
How is it different to say, I will not date you because you’re British, to I will not date you because you’re bisexual? Would you date an openly bisexual person?
Is it prejudice and discrimination or is it a matter of taste?
The western society has advance a lot in the last decades, new laws to ensure diversity and inclusion, even some traditionally conservative countries have issue some kind of law in that line. But society still is far behind for acceptance of the other without prejudice.
The comparison I made I think it’s fair enough, your nationality is not something you choose, but something you are born; your place of birth doesn’t make you handsomer, taller, skinny, or ugliest and fat; it doesn’t affect your personality, since there are people of all different characteristics in a country, quiet, talkative, funny, serious, religious or atheist. It doesn’t even means that you are of certain race, only the BNP would argue that only white people are British. To generalize about a nationality is basically the same as generalize about your sexuality.
Are bisexuals that different from heterosexuals and homosexuals? are they mentally sick? are they just confused? No, is the answer of all those questions. There are a lot of common misunderstandings about bisexuality, let’s review some:
Myth 1, Bisexuals are confused
No, it’s people’s attitudes to bisexuality that are confused. Now a days, everyone can accept without big problems that a person can be attracted to another regardless of his/her height, weight, hair colour, race, etc. So, how is it so difficult to understand that gender is just another quality.
Myth 2, Bisexuals are promiscuous
Yes, some of them, so do heterosexuals and homosexuals. Promiscuity is something about your personal values and what you decide that you want of a relationship, as their hetero/homo counterparts bisexuals are capable of being in a loyal long term relationship, or not. The sexual orientation doesn’t change anything about it.
Myth 3, Bisexual guys can’t be masculine and bisexual women can’t be feminine.
If you take a closer look around, you will find that there are more than a few heterosexual guys who are a little bit camp, and homosexual guys who can be very masculine. Role genders are diluting little by little and people are learning to be free and express the way they want. Bisexuality is not an exception, you surely would find camp and masculine bisexual guys, and feminine and butch bisexual women.
Myth 4, Bisexuals have to be equally attracted to men and women
You don’t have to be equally attracted to red-heads and brunettes to be attracted to both, and preferring lettuce to liver doesn’t make you a vegetarian, so why do some people insist that “true” bisexuals are exactly and equally attracted to men and women?
Myth 5, Bisexuals are Dishonest/untrustworthy
Some say that since we can’t “make up our mind” we are not to be trusted. So, if you happen to not be a strict vegetarian or a meat eater only, but you prefer a nice salad with chicken, you’re not making your mind and you are not to be trusted? If that sounds ridiculous to you, so the argument about sexuality.
Myth 6, Bisexuals are just homosexuals in denial
Sadly, that remark is very common in both, the heterosexual and the homosexual community, mainly due to the fact that some homosexuals use bisexuality as a façade, to help them through the coming out process. That has affected a lot people’s opinion about true bisexuality. But that is not true, bisexuals are not in denial, no more than homosexuals are in denial of being heteros, or vice versa.
Myth 7, bisexuality is the “easy option”
As noted before, it isn’t, bisexuals face discrimination from both, the gay and hetero community, even when in some people’s mind there’s the idea that it can be more socially accepted being bisexual, reality and statistics show that is not the case. Take a look at some statistics as the Stonewall’s Workplace Equality Index questionnaire in 2009, to see the reality.
Myth 8, Bisexuals have to date both men and women at the same time
Some of us are in happy relationships with one partner, others have multiple relationships and some swap to dating the other sex whenever their current fling ends. Some bisexuals are happily married and raising children. Some bisexuals are single, some are celibate. You do not need to have ever have had sex to be bisexual. Some bisexuals enjoy casual sex, others don’t’ have sex outside committed relationships.
Myth 9, Bisexuality is just a phase
Is homosexuality just a phase? Why people want to describe the things that they don’t understand as minor mistakes? True, there are many gay people who lie about their sexual orientation and say when coming out they’re bi. But if you’re bi, even when your sexuality can be fluid, you will not suddenly stop feeling attracted to one genre.
Myth 10, Bisexuals is just to be indecise
There’s no indecision!!, Sexuality isn’t black and white, the world isn’t black and white, as soon as we can get rid of that silly dualistic mindset that oversimplifies reality, the better. First we didn’t chose to be bisexuals, we are born like that. Second we may chose to settle down with a person, and he or she will be or long-term partner, that doesn’t mean that you don’t find attractive any other people anymore, you just choose not to act on that attraction, but the same happens with monosexuals.
Give Bis a chance
Now, people would still be wondering , what if my Partner Is Bisexual, What Should I Do? Should I leave him/her? Do I dare to date a bisexual?
Probably one of all of the above myths would cross your mind, is he/her going to be unfaithful, is he/her going to leave me for someone of a different gender?
Well, nothing is for certain, since each person is different, but being bisexual doesn’t mean these things, bisexual people can and will be as committed and faithful as any other person with different sexual orientation, no more, no less.
So, if you fancy a boy or a girl, you like his/her character, if you are attracted physically to him/her, then why to miss the chance to find a perfect partner for you, just because some prejudices and myths.
Do you dare to give people a chance regardless of his/her race, nationality or religion? Then why don’t dare to give people a chance if they happen to be bisexuals?
Finally, I want to share with you this interesting broadcast of BBC Radio 4, where Musician and presenter Tom Robinson examines what it means to be bisexual in Britain today.